Archive for Energy
The Trinity: A Metaphyiscal Metaphor
In my meditation this morning I was struck with the thought that the holy Trinity is actually a metaphysical metaphor for each and every one of us.
- The Holy Spirit = the Inner Child = Mother Earth
- Christ = Soul = Presence
- The Heavenly Father = Higher Mind = Guiding Inner Wisdom
If any of these three entities are suppressed then we as vessels, conduits of Divine energy, are out of alignment. Where there is blockage there is stagnation and that becomes who we think we are. This person who is the sum of every wrong done to us, every emotion shoved down, ever imprinting put upon us by the equally fragile people who raised or taught us.
That is not you. You is who you are when all three elements within you are in alignment. When you dive deep and feel all things fully, without resistance or knee-jerk reaction. When you connect to Spirit and allow that flame within your breast to kindle. When you go out the top of your head, out into the Universe, and access higher wisdom and insight.
All three. The Trinity that is you, and me, and we. That person shines bright, so bright that the confluence of flowing energy is evident to everyone wherever you go. Some are drawn to it, some envy and attack it, some close themselves off to it and others flee from it. That is simply where they are, on their own personal journey and it has nothing to do with you. It has nothing to do with the rightness or wrongness of you … the beautiful you that is we, that is three, in one, in you.
Art by: Cristian Ilies Vasile
In The Present, Ever Deepening
While I have not been as diligent with blogging of late, I have definitely been committing myself to inner work and development … and BOY, has it been a year and a half for it!
Just before COVID really shut things down I had begun working with an intensive leadership development group based in Atlanta. I paired this with bi-weekly sessions with a Qi Gong master I have worked with on and off through the years. This work began around January of 2020 … coincidence? Hmmmm.
Another developmental work began last Spring. A friend, also a member of the leadership group in Atlanta, asked if anyone was interested in doing The Presence Process with him. I was not familiar with the book/program, but I’ve always been curious and game for that which I have yet to experience … so it was game on.
I have now completed my third time through The Presence Process, by Michael Brown. It is a ten week program, as well as a book to read, and I highly recommend it to anyone who is interested … I guarantee it pertains to ALL people. It’s ten weeks of progressive work at being present … sounds pretty simple, right?
Yeah, so simple that it has turned my world upside down. After my second time through the process I had a repressed memory surface of sexual assault by a man in a bathroom when I was four years old. Being present to that has been … well, I won’t say for now because it would require some swearing.
I had obviously heard about repressed memories but figured it didn’t apply to me. After all, I can remember things all the way back to age two. So I was fairly certain if something had happened to me I would remember it.
I now believe that every single one of us has repressed memories … every … single … one. Can you remember every event that happened in your life from age two to seven? No?
Well then, my friend, you’ve got some memories in there that you are not conscious of … many of them are still affecting you in the life you live. How you process, how you interpret the world and the actions of people in the world around you … the context that you perceive life with.
Here’s the thing … so long as there are unintegrated emotional roots for our current triggers that go ALL the way back to those years? We are a slave to them. You want freedom? Most people do.
True freedom comes in being present to what is so, all of it. As Michael Brown says in his book, “The only way out is through.”
So why on earth would anyone actually WANT to expose themself to the roots of their emotional triggers? Well, it depends on how you want to live life.
Do you want to keep re-living the past and projecting it on out into your future?
Or do you want to discover who you really are down underneath all the habitual ways of being/reacting you were imprinted with by others as a child when you didn’t yet have the ability to cope?
So I’m going to start writing again. Some of it will be spiritual, as has been my wont, but I also want to get into what it means to REALLY have your voice, and to have your choice … YOUR choice. Your true self, not the imprinted, knee-jerk reaction, emotional triggers you have come to associate with who you “are”.
There’s beauty down in there … believe it.
Peace and Love.
——-
Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.
We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or their judgments … God LOVES us all!
There is no requirement to change in order to be LOVED by God, or to LOVE God. God is LOVE, and LOVE is God … period. There is no one who God loves more than anyone else … there are only those who choose to LOVE more … to love God more, and consequently then to love each other more. In doing so, we grow closer to God … and know God.
By opening our hearts, and minds to God (free of boundaries like religion, or social trends); by LOVING God … we are exactly where we are meant to be. If we maintain that openness, never allowing any person or event to make us close our hearts, we will be guided by God to be who we are meant to be.
In that space of openness we can then live a life of LOVE, and be guided to where we are meant to be … forever in LOVE.
Southern California, Northern California, Mission Viejo, Irvine, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Marin, San Jose, San Juan Capistrano, Santa Ana, Palm Springs, Long Beach
Travelling Companions
If you are someone who sees pathways easily it is very easy to just GO … wherever it is that you want or need to go. This is especially true if those around you (your travelling companions on this journey of life) don’t see the pathways and are “slowing you down” (assessment).
You see, it’s simply not efficient to traverse all of these other pathways that CLEARLY are not the best or wisest pathways that you see.
However, if you just go it on your own, to arrive where you want more quickly, your travelling companions are likely to get lost (because they don’t see what you see) … and, when you finally get to your ultimate destination?
You will be alone.
So, even if it seems maddening to go slow or wait, perhaps the greatest contribution you can make is to simply be here in the Present with everyone and every circumstance that comes along … trust that there is something greater than you charting your course and be the best travelling companion that you can be.
Pic by Murad Osmann
——-
Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.
We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or their judgments … God LOVES us all!
There is no requirement to change in order to be LOVED by God, or to LOVE God. God is LOVE, and LOVE is God … period. There is no one who God loves more than anyone else … there are only those who choose to LOVE more … to love God more, and consequently then to love each other more. In doing so, we grow closer to God … and know God.
By opening our hearts, and minds to God (free of boundaries like religion, or social trends); by LOVING God … we are exactly where we are meant to be. If we maintain that openness, never allowing any person or event to make us close our hearts, we will be guided by God to be who we are meant to be.
In that space of openness we can then live a life of LOVE, and be guided to where we are meant to be … forever in LOVE.
Southern California, Northern California, Mission Viejo, Irvine, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Marin, San Jose, San Juan Capistrano, Santa Ana, Palm Springs, Long Beach
Become The Sky – Rumi
Here are my words to meditate upon today:
“Become the sky. Take an axe to the prison wall. Escape.”
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
“All religions, all this singing, one song. The differences are just illusion and vanity. The sun’s light looks a little different on this wall than it does on that wall, and a lot different on this other one, but it’s still one light.”
– Rumi
~~~~~~~
Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.
We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or their judgments … God LOVES us all!
There is no requirement to change in order to be LOVED by God, or to LOVE God. God is LOVE, and LOVE is God … period. There is no one who God loves more than anyone else … there are only those who choose to LOVE more … to love God more, and consequently then to love each other more. In doing so, we grow closer to God … and know God.
By opening our hearts, and minds to God (free of boundaries like religion, or social trends); by LOVING God … we are exactly where we are meant to be. If we maintain that openness, never allowing any person or event to make us close our hearts, we will be guided by God to be who we are meant to be.
In that space of openness we can then live a life of LOVE, and be guided to where we are meant to be … forever in LOVE.
Southern California, Northern California, Mission Viejo, Irvine, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Marin, San Jose, San Juan Capistrano, Santa Ana, Palm Springs, Long Beach
Caribbean Dream
(a description of my most recent epiphany while on a St. Martins vacation)
Caribbean teal lapped luxuriously over my eyelids and around my nostrils while seeping slowly between my lips. My limp limbs lolled rhythmically back and forth, back and forth … back … and forth.
Pictures splattered across my mind’s eye like subway posters on the walls outside a speeding train and I, the lone traveler, gazed out the window to gauge their meaning. The soundtrack for this inward sojourn are Jan’s insistent words, on loop,
“Why are you taking it so personally? Don’t you know? There is nothing that anybody does that is about you. Nothing is about you, it is about them. Nothing is personal to you, it’s simply each person processing their own shit. Even if they reject you, or leave you, or have an affair, or whatever … it’s not about you.”
Something clicked, and shifted … my muscles clenched for something to hold on to as I gasped in surprise.
That’s it.
It was as if the words NEEDED to be on loop, in order for me to actually get it … deep down … below the superficiality of intellectual banter and philosophical musings.
It’s not about me … nothing is about me … it’s all about them.
Relief washed over my spirit, more refreshing than even the crystalline beauty of the waters I floated in. My eyes drank in blue. My descending toes burrowed joyfully into the white sand below as a salty smile splayed widely into my reddened cheeks.
Even if my worst fears and suspicions were true … even if they thought my contributions weren’t as meaningful as theirs, or they didn’t respect me as much as the others, or thought I was not someone worth listening to … it doesn’t matter.
It’s not about me … it’s about them.
Most likely none of those fears or suspicions are true … and that doesn’t matter either. Finding or revealing “The Truth” doesn’t matter … there is no truth. There is just a world full of people each processing their own past, present and future programming.
Anyone’s actions are simply a reflection of what is inside of them … and they have nothing to do personally with me. It’s their inner workings; assumptions, presumptions, calculations, emotions and programming that are either holding them back or forwarding their future. Why worry about what anyone thinks when it is simply a reflection of their personal history … which none of us can ever know?
It might sound simple, or obvious … but as this realization truly hit home for me … the weight of the world lifted. All the fears, and paranoid scanning, all the years of worriedly wondering where the next attack would come from … and shifting, changing, adapting, melting and molding myself into whatever, whoever, could avoid the next attack.
The years I spent thinking, believing, that if anyone ever truly knew me they would reject me. If I ever opened myself enough for them to see my authenticity … the charade would be over and I would just be that bullied, violated and abused child with nowhere to hide … and no mask to hide behind.
There is no masquerade ball … it’s just been me with my many masks in a house of mirrors, and fear, and a volcanic rage to defend against anyone who happened to somehow slip past my defenses.
It was never about me at all. Every single fact I’ve been building my case with … has all been about them.
How freeing that is.
Wow.
I turned, and walked back to the beach … and the rest of my life to unfold.
~~~~~~~
Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.
We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or their judgments … God LOVES us all!
There is no requirement to change in order to be LOVED by God, or to LOVE God. God is LOVE, and LOVE is God … period. There is no one who God loves more than anyone else … there are only those who choose to LOVE more … to love God more, and consequently then to love each other more. In doing so, we grow closer to God … and know God.
By opening our hearts, and minds to God (free of boundaries like religion, or social trends); by LOVING God … we are exactly where we are meant to be. If we maintain that openness, never allowing any person or event to make us close our hearts, we will be guided by God to be who we are meant to be.
In that space of openness we can then live a life of LOVE, and be guided to where we are meant to be … forever in LOVE.
Southern California, Northern California, Mission Viejo, Irvine, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Marin, San Jose, San Juan Capistrano, Santa Ana, Palm Springs, Long Beach
The Poverty of the West
My words for meditation today:
“He awoke each morning with the desire to do right, to be a good and meaningful person, to be, as simple as it sounded and as impossible as it actually was, happy. And during the course of each day his heart would descend from his chest into his stomach. By early afternoon he was overcome by the feeling that nothing was right, or nothing was right for him, and by the desire to be alone. By evening he was fulfilled: alone in the magnitude of his grief, alone in his aimless guilt, alone even in his loneliness. I am not sad, he would repeat to himself over and over, I am not sad. As if he might one day convince himself. Or fool himself. Or convince others–the only thing worse than being sad is for others to know that you are sad. I am not sad. I am not sad.”
– Jonathan Safran Foer (Everything Is Illuminated)
~~~
“The greatest disease in the West today is not TB or leprosy; it is being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for. We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread but there are many more dying for a little love. The poverty in the West is a different kind of poverty — it is not only a poverty of loneliness but also of spirituality. There’s a hunger for love, as there is a hunger for God.”
– Mother Theresa
~~~
Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.
We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or their judgments … God LOVES us all!
There is no requirement to change in order to be LOVED by God, or to LOVE God. God is LOVE, and LOVE is God … period. There is no one who God loves more than anyone else … there are only those who choose to LOVE more … to love God more, and consequently then to love each other more. In doing so, we grow closer to God … and know God.
By opening our hearts, and minds to God (free of boundaries like religion, or social trends); by LOVING God … we are exactly where we are meant to be. If we maintain that openness, never allowing any person or event to make us close our hearts, we will be guided by God to be who we are meant to be.
In that space of openness we can then live a life of LOVE, and be guided to where we are meant to be … forever in LOVE.
Southern California, Northern California,Mission Viejo, Irvine, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Marin, San Jose, San Juan Capistrano, Santa Ana, Palm Springs, Long Beach
The Tortured Self – A Vision
I had a vision today. These visions have happened to/for me since I was 20 … I never know when they are going to happen and I cannot make them happen at will. I can however put myself into a state where I am more open to seeing them … this often happens for me through meditation.
Today, however, I was not meditating. I was on a teleconference with a dozen or so other people, discussing topics around self awareness, personal development and duality.
– Flash back a couple of weeks ago –
I had a vision while focusing on my first chakra in a prolonged meditation session. I was exploring a cavern and I had recently discovered a new room. In coming out of this room I had the awareness that to my right was darkness … just darkness. I kept trying to look to my right, and it was as if I couldn’t even turn my head to the right to see. I continued with this intention for at least 15 minutes … waiting for the time to come where this cleared and I would be able to see into this place. It never happened, I was blind there.
– Now back to the teleconference –
One person was talking about the need to accept ones self. The leader interrupted and what she said sparked off this vision for me … while she was talking I felt energy pulsate from her through my heart chakra, which tightened and tingled all at the same time … it was as if I was experiencing the vision and listening to her at the same time:
“It is not enough to simply accept oneself.” she said, “It is much deeper than that. We are trained to view ourselves through our accomplishments … through our results.”
I am back in that underground chamber now … walking toward the place that has been blackened out from my mind’s eye.
“So if you tell anyone that they need to accept themself, they will immediately refer back to what they know … what their results are: how much money they have, what their relationships are, their power, their charm, etc. These are the things they have always used to feel accepted.”
I am rounding the corner and look to where the blackness was … and still is.
“What really needs to happen, what I had to take on for myself, is that we have to accept that we are spiritual beings in a human form. We have both a soulful essence, a spirit, and a human nature. That spirit is ALREADY whole and complete … right now! There is NOTHING that needs to be done to improve on it. YOU are already whole and complete … and you have a human nature that will always be there as well … and that human nature is flawed. You can’t focus on the human nature and exclude the true nature, the spirit … but that is what we do when we base our sense of worth on our results and our accomplishments.”
The blackness disappears and I see an emaciated man shackled to a wall … bleeding as if he had been tortured. I ran to him and broke the shackles out of the wall. I picked up his form, which felt light as a feather, and carried him into the new chamber I had just discovered a couple of weeks ago. There now was a pool glowing with light in the center of that room, and I gently lowered that poor, tortured man into the waters … his head propped on a rock and light glowing all around him, as if it was a psychadelic bathtub.
“That is the nature of Duality,” the speaker continued, “we always have the perfect soulful essence laying down right beside this flawed human nature. It is together that they are beautiful. You can’t try to make the human nature wrong for not being perfect, and you can’t remove the soulful essence from who you truly are … they’re not seperate, you are both simultaneously. That is the edge we must walk.”
As the man begins to heal … I see that he is me. I SEE that I have been torturing the human part of myself by constantly measuring my self worth by accomplishments. EVERY TIME I don’t get the results I want I was whipping him bloody. I feel a hollow feeling in my chest … horror. I go to him, and hug him, and ask him to forgive me. I try to merge with him and make him one with me … but it won’t take. I have been the torturer for far too long … it will take time for him to trust me enough … so that we can be equal, and whole, and complete, and beautiful … together.
~~~~~~~
Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.
We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or their judgments … God LOVES us all!
There is no requirement to change in order to be LOVED by God, or to LOVE God. God is LOVE, and LOVE is God … period. There is no one who God loves more than anyone else … there are only those who choose to LOVE more … to love God more, and consequently then to love each other more. In doing so, we grow closer to God … and know God.
By opening our hearts, and minds to God (free of boundaries like religion, or social trends); by LOVING God … we are exactly where we are meant to be. If we maintain that openness, never allowing any person or event to make us close our hearts, we will be guided by God to be who we are meant to be.
In that space of openness we can then live a life of LOVE, and be guided to where we are meant to be … forever in LOVE.
Southern California, Northern California, Mission Viejo, Irvine, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Marin, San Jose, San Juan Capistrano, Santa Ana, Palm Springs, Long Beach
pic from Pinterest.
Lifetime regression
In meditating on acceptance throughout the day, I was taken to a point of contemplating the True Self.
My definition for the True Self is this: who you are when you are not reacting to internal or external phenomena. By this I mean we are most often reacting to either a tangible event in our lives, or our fears and paranoias that have accumulated over a lifetime of experiencing such events … events that we are hoping to avoid.
Over time these reactions can become an extremely complex web we spin for ourselves, a web that comes in many forms: white lies and subtle manipulations, at first. As we go further down the road, we see that we keep getting what we want and it continues to evolve. The problem is … that person is not our True Self. You can’t even find the True Self in the midst of all that chaos.
When we truly get to a point of acceptance (something which many wrongly construe as resignation) we allow all of these “chains” that bind us to disappear … the web dissolves. What we are left with is the True Self.
When you can accept where you are, or what has happened, or what might happen, or might not … and let go of it, allow it to be? Then you can breathe deeply and realize that you are free. Now, with a clear head, you can move forward as your True Self. That person who is following Spiritual guidance, as opposed to man-made constructs.
I went back in time; wondering if there was ever another point in my life where that True Self was evident. Certainly not in my memory. I went back to infancy. Many believe that “mankind is fallen”, even from birth. I just don’t believe that this is true (having looked into the eyes of many babies). That is our soul as the True Self.
What happens though is that we are quickly trained that if we cry, we get what we want. We learn that by taking our fate into our own hands, we can make the world do what we want. That trait is encouraged and empowered throughout our lives. The more aggressive we are, the better. Most often that does not concur with what God wants us to be. When was a child rewarded for sitting in a room, meditating, and being with God? In certain cultures that may be the case, but not in American culture, for the most part.
So the search for the True Self is really about undoing everything that has been trained and ingrained.
My ultimate point is that when our focus is on God … we can trust God to guide us. When I say that we need to go through a lifetime regression I am not saying there should be no rules. I am saying that we should spend our time listening to God for such guidance … instead of relying on man-made crutches. If God REALLY is there … why do we need anyone else to tell us what God is saying?
We should let be letting go of all of the negative reactions we have allowed, accepting where we are, and then moving forward in life as that True Self … not reacting, but ACTING as we are guided by God.
In order to get to that place though … each of us has to let go of our tangled web we’ve woven. We have to take the time to sit, and connect, and listen to what God has to share with us. We must let go of control, throw our arms wide and TRUST.
I realize that many people get nervous about something so unstructured … but I believe that when God is the basis of any action, LOVE will be the result. It is a curious musing that I found myself on today … I welcome any and all to agree, disagree, or expound.
——-
Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.
We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or their judgments … God LOVES us all!
There is no requirement to change in order to be LOVED by God, or to LOVE God. God is LOVE, and LOVE is God … period. There is no one who God loves more than anyone else … there are only those who choose to LOVE more … to love God more, and consequently then to love each other more. In doing so, we grow closer to God … and know God.
By opening our hearts, and minds to God (free of boundaries like religion, or social trends); by LOVING God … we are exactly where we are meant to be. If we maintain that openness, never allowing any person or event to make us close our hearts, we will be guided by God to be who we are meant to be.
In that space of openness we can then live a life of LOVE, and be guided to where we are meant to be … forever in LOVE.
Southern California, Northern California,Mission Viejo, Irvine, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Marin, San Jose, San Juan Capistrano, Santa Ana, Palm Springs, Long Beach
Edited and refined from Lifetime regression.
Simulating Security
Look at your life. Every grandiose aspiration and tiny little bad habit. All of it is the sum of the life you have lived, and your reactions to that life. That is neither good nor bad … it just IS. It’s what is so.
So when you scrutinize different elements of how you are living your life … you don’t have to beat yourself up about them. They are simply what is so. If something works, continue on doing it. If it doesn’t work? Then perhaps you could look into what exactly is needed to begin changing that aspect.
This is the conscious work I have been doing of late. Sifting and sorting through my habits, and then digging underneath them to find the root of what is behind them. It sounds kind of painstaking, and it is actually … but I am finding a slew of current every day behaviors that are rooted in things that go WAY back to my childhood. Even though I am not LIVING in my past, literally … I am. Until now I had thought I had already worked through all of these things … released them to God through forgiveness and meditation.
I have found though that I am living in a present full of habits and behaviors that were LEARNED in my past. My brain and body have memorized what emotions and chemicals to release when each one of those habits are engaged in … and suddenly I am right back in the very same emotions from my childhood … just attached to a current day situation. More often than not my internal reactions are NOT equal to the events today … because the events going on today for me are nowhere near what they were for me as a child.
Some of you may have had wonderful childhoods … and if you did I am truly happy for you. It would be wonderful for everyone to experience such a thing. I had happy early years, but from age 11 on my life was full of death, sexual abuse, psychological abuse, verbal abuse, and physical abuse. I am not saying that in search of consolation … it simply is what was so in my life. Those events comprise who I am as a person today … and you know what? I am pretty damn happy with the person I am today! 🙂
So many of the wonderful things in my life that I treasure wouldn’t be here at all if I hadn’t experienced the life that I did. I have no regrets.
What I am finding through doing this conscious internal work, however, is just how much I still live in the same emotions from all those years ago. Those events no longer take place in my life … but the emotions live on through the habits I developed. Back then I didn’t know any better … and those habits actually kind of made sense for who I was then. They protected me in some way.
If all of this doesn’t completely make sense, I will give you a couple of examples from my life and show how they have evolved into different forms in my current life:
* As a child who experienced abuse virtually around every corner … my greatest fear was of being blindsided by some horrific event. So I began scanning 24/7 for anyone who would potentially be a threat to me … and I avoided those people.
* As a child I also ate foods that gave me comfort … they ultimately gave me comfort because I got to choose what I was eating and that made me feel in control. It was something I could lose myself in and not worry about the next awful thing that would happen to me.
In the first instance, it really is pretty simple to see how that stayed around. Because of my 24/7 scanning I began making instant assessments about anyone who came into my life. If any alarm bells went off in my head you were a threat and simply avoided. Who knows what those alarm bells could have been triggered by though?? Who knows how many wonderful friendships I missed out on, or opportunities I sabotaged all for the sake of perpetuating a habit that began in my childhood. Something that made me feel safe … but ultimately was sabotaging me. So now I go around with my head up, making eye contact and smiling at people with a heart WIDE open … sounds kind of simple, but when I first started doing it I literally felt like I was going to be attacked every time.
In the second instance, my use of food as a way of comforting myself … to feel like I had control … morphed into multiple areas: throughout my college years that turned into sexual promiscuity, alcohol consumption, drug use, and basically experimentation with anything that appealed to me. If I wanted it, that was enough … I simply did it, and that made me feel like I had control over my life. It made me feel that I was safe, even though I quite literally put myself into very dangerous situations as a result. So now I consciously go about looking at what is behind my desires … am I doing something simply because I enjoy it, or am I doing something to simulate security?
Even if you didn’t have a childhood full of abuse … I bet you can take a look at some of the things you do today and if you dig deep enough you might be able to find that they are rooted in some deeply seated event in your psyche. Even though you’ve moved on in life … those emotions, fears and reactions still live on. Take one thing that you feel embarrassed or ashamed about … and see if you can go internally wherever your emotions take you. Some memory most likely will unfold. Don’t shut it down … allow it to play out in your mind.
When you are done … open your heart to God and invite Love into that place. Ask for healing deep down into this ancient wound. Over time this kind of work will allow you to be free of these self-sabotaging ties to emotional events from our past. God wants us to be free to receive and give Love … everywhere, all the time. We can’t do this though without freeing ourselves of these fetters from bygone years.
Sometimes something as simple as letting go requires some work … work to discover what you didn’t even know you needed to let go of.
Peace and Love.
~~~~~~~
Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.
We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or their judgments … God LOVES us all!
There is no requirement to change in order to be LOVED by God, or to LOVE God. God is LOVE, and LOVE is God … period. There is no one who God loves more than anyone else … there are only those who choose to LOVE more … to love God more, and consequently then to love each other more. In doing so, we grow closer to God … and know God.
By opening our hearts, and minds to God (free of boundaries like religion, or social trends); by LOVING God … we are exactly where we are meant to be. If we maintain that openness, never allowing any person or event to make us close our hearts, we will be guided by God to be who we are meant to be.
In that space of openness we can then live a life of LOVE, and be guided to where we are meant to be … forever in LOVE.
Southern California, Northern California, Mission Viejo, Irvine, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Marin, San Jose, San Juan Capistrano, Santa Ana, Palm Springs, Long Beach
A Perfect Paradox
“I am already perfect … I need do nothing to become perfect … it is only my actions that are imperfect.”
That is a very different mantra than what I grew up with! For those who do not know, I grew up in a fundamentalist Christian missionary family. There were good sides and bad sides to this, as there is to all things … Dualiity. The wonderful side is that this upbringing is what introduced me to the concept of having a literal relationship with God … it doesn’t get any better than that! One of the many down sides is that I was imprinted with certain mindsets which I have now come to see are false … not only are they false, but they are harmful.
The specific mindset I am referencing here is the mindset that “We all are born sinners!” … horrible, awful sinners who must bemoan their woeful state and flagellate themselves constantly with the lashes of shame and penitence.
This is false.
We all truly are beautiful creations … at our core we are the unique, sparkling beauty of a soul that God created us to be. We have LEARNED to do evil things … but we are not evil at our core. We have taken upon ourselves the structures of the world around us: how we were raised, who we find to love, where we go for acceptance and validation, what we choose to believe, who we choose to follow, and the list goes on. These all are the structures we have built upon the fabric and foundation of our souls … and we will do ANYTHING to maintain the solidity and surety of those structures … even if it means doing things that are harmful to others.
It is in letting these structures dissolve we find the freedom to become the perfect and beautiful creatures that we were created to be. The more we adhere to these structures, the more we keep that perfect creation buried deep, SO DEEP, within the sealed up wells of our inner psyche. We do this thinking that we are protecting ourselves … if that True Self gets hurt it can be devastating. So we submerge it, and hide it, we bury it, and bind it … so that we won’t be hurt in such a way again.
In doing so, however, we are denying the perfection that already IS. We already ARE perfection … the perfection that God created us to be. It is only our ACTIONS that are imperfect … and those actions are based on what we have learned, taken on, or been brainwashed to believe.
Will my actions ever be perfect? No, probably not. That still doesn’t mean that I am a horrible, awful person at my core … and neither are you.
When you were born and those innocent newborn eyes looked out into the world … do you really believe you were evil?? No … you were perfect … and you still are perfect … your actions simply do not reflect that perfection. You have lost touch with the perfection that IS the LOVE of God. Love that is there for all of us, and LIVES in all of us already. All we can do is strive to reflect that Perfection into the world around us … strive to embrace the fact that we are all beings with Duality and to embody the perfect Love that is already there at our core.
Doing this means LETTING GO of the structures that are learned or imposed … not clinging to them more desperately.
THAT is a HUGE difference … at least for me.
You are perfect … JUST AS YOU ARE. God loves you … JUST AS YOU ARE.
Peace and Love.
~~~~~~~
Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.
We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or their judgments … God LOVES us all!
There is no requirement to change in order to be LOVED by God, or to LOVE God. God is LOVE, and LOVE is God … period. There is no one who God loves more than anyone else … there are only those who choose to LOVE more … to love God more, and consequently then to love each other more. In doing so, we grow closer to God … and know God.
By opening our hearts, and minds to God (free of boundaries like religion, or social trends); by LOVING God … we are exactly where we are meant to be. If we maintain that openness, never allowing any person or event to make us close our hearts, we will be guided by God to be who we are meant to be.
In that space of openness we can then live a life of LOVE, and be guided to where we are meant to be … forever in LOVE.
Southern California, Northern California, Mission Viejo, Irvine, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Marin, San Jose, San Juan Capistrano, Santa Ana, Palm Springs, Long Beach
Perfect Facade
Living in this world is almost entirely comprised of proving your worth. People like to pretend that this is not the case, that their “love” is really the stuff that True Love is made of … that being Unconditional … but this idea is disproved all around us.
Think about it … if you did nothing to prove your worth, where and who would you be? If you didn’t shave hairs off your body, or spend hours looking just right, or get a job that garners respect, or lose weight, or act in the way that is most appropriate to those you have chosen to love … what would your view of yourself be? What would their view of you be?
You have proving yourself to your family, or proving yourself to the Church … proving yourself to the government … proving yourself to the girls, or guys, or neighbors, or bosses, or co-workers, or strangers who you don’t even know but you don’t want them to look at your weirdly in the grocery store while you’re shopping for food. We do EVERYTHING just to gain what passes for acceptance or love … but really isn’t acceptance or love at all. It’s acceptance and love for the perfect facade you present … not you.
If all you did was sit on a street corner … could you live with that? Could you face yourself each and every day? Would the nagging, nay gnawing, diminish or grow within you?
What if I added something to that question? What if all you did was sit on a street corner … and worship God … all day? Does that change it for you? No, probably not.
Why is that?
When there is nothing more important that we can be doing than loving God and, through that, loving each other … why is it that EVERYTHING that defines us is about proving ourselves to each other? It’s the OPPOSITE of loving God and, through that, loving each other!!
Even for myself with meditation … I have realized that so much of that is about DOING something … PROVING myself. I have to be making myself into the epitome of what I believe God wants me to be … when all God wants is for me to BE … right there, in that moment, in the present LOVING and basking in the hovering afterglow that IS God.
Try it … see how hard it really is ;-).
Am I saying that we should all just do nothing? Of course not … but we CAN at least detach that incessant inner source-wire that has become the pseudo pump for our life blood … dictating virtually every action we have. What if the decisions you made in life were not about anything more than what is authentic to you … to who you were created to be? To simply be the person that makes God smile. That would be a wonderful place to step forward from …
~~~~~~~
Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.
We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or their judgments … God LOVES us all!
There is no requirement to change in order to be LOVED by God, or to LOVE God. God is LOVE, and LOVE is God … period. There is no one who God loves more than anyone else … there are only those who choose to LOVE more … to love God more, and consequently then to love each other more. In doing so, we grow closer to God … and know God.
By opening our hearts, and minds to God (free of boundaries like religion, or social trends); by LOVING God … we are exactly where we are meant to be. If we maintain that openness, never allowing any person or event to make us close our hearts, we will be guided by God to be who we are meant to be.
In that space of openness we can then live a life of LOVE, and be guided to where we are meant to be … forever in LOVE.
Southern California, Northern California, Mission Viejo, Irvine, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Marin, San Jose, San Juan Capistrano, Santa Ana, Palm Springs, Long Beach
A Wicked Trifecta
“Triad” – by Carla Parris
Of late I have been meditating on the issue of judgment: how it occurs in my life, and how much it needs to be allowed to come up, worked through, and let go of. Here is a note I dictated, on the fly, on the subject … in a moment of epiphany.
“If I hold onto judgment in any form then I end up judging myself even more cruelly. Because of my abusive past I have an inner voice that is incredibly destructive.
So if I judge other people I will judge myself ten times more harshly. If I judge myself that harshly then when other people judge me it will cut me to the very depths I have already judged myself. From that state of self-judgment, I will proceed to pre-judge others as a defense mechanism.
It is a wicked trifecta of judgment … if I allow any one of them to exist in my heart then they will all exist … and consume me.
The only way I will ever be free is to give up judgment on all levels … in all forms … toward others, toward myself, and from others.”
Give it a try! 😉
Peace and Love
~~~~~~~
Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.
We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or their judgments … God LOVES us all!
There is no requirement to change in order to be LOVED by God, or to LOVE God. God is LOVE, and LOVE is God … period. There is no one who God loves more than anyone else … there are only those who choose to LOVE more … to love God more, and consequently then to love each other more. In doing so, we grow closer to God … and know God.
By opening our hearts, and minds to God (free of boundaries like religion, or social trends); by LOVING God … we are exactly where we are meant to be. If we maintain that openness, never allowing any person or event to make us close our hearts, we will be guided by God to be who we are meant to be.
In that space of openness we can then live a life of LOVE, and be guided to where we are meant to be … forever in LOVE.
Southern California, Northern California,Mission Viejo, Irvine, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Marin, San Jose, San Juan Capistrano, Santa Ana, Palm Springs, Long Beach
What “Judgment” Really Means
The tricky thing about language is that we really don’t grasp or comprehend what somebody else’s interpretation of each word is. When I say “bliss” I think of floating with sea turtles while snorkeling on the north shore of Kauai. Somebody else’s version of that same word could be a remembrance of their first kiss … and yet another’s interpretation could be the adrenaline rush after an hours worth of strenuous exercise. I might personally use different words for each one of those experiences, but they use the word “bliss” … and I am instantly transported to my own personal interpretation.
When you think of all the other myriad of words (and combinations of words) in the English language, and in any other language, you begin to realize the importance of understanding the reality of how we literally live in language.
This was made crystal clear to me in the past few weeks. I experienced what I termed as judgment from a close family member. Fortunately I have done enough spiritual and meditative work that I did not react in a negative way at the time. However, this instance continued to bother me over the last few weeks. In talking about this with a mentor and a group of peers I began to see that my interpretation of “judgment” is very different than theirs. So for the past few weeks I have been meditating on just what “judgment” means to me … here is what I was very surprised to have come up with:
– “Judgment” for me taps into the emotions around getting caught by an abusive stepmother exploring what to me was completely innocent and new-found as a maturing 12-year-old … not realizing that this is considered “wrong” by many people. My stepmother proceeded to convince my father that I could not be trusted around children because of this … I was disgusting to her; I could hear it in her voice.
– Judgment, for me, is in my head; dating back to that same twelve year old being molested by an older man in the neighborhood who befriended me after my mother’s death. I should have DONE something other than sit there in a trance-like state of shock/horror … it was all MY fault (or so my mind repeated over and over).
– “Judgment” emotionally taps into a physically abusive older brother who, as a three hundred pound football lineman, would bruise me, slap me, or sit on me and spit in my face … or some variation of this type of treatment on an almost daily basis. Between him and my stepmother I abandoned my bedroom for the privacy and safety of rooftops.
– “Judgment” for me causes emotions to stir from that same brother, along with several other older siblings, admitting me into a religious program with the intention of “changing me” … there was something wrong with me, you see.
– “Judgment” for me is when I had a spiritual revelation and God told me that I am Loved, and beautiful just as I am, I was renounced by family and friends alike for believing it.
Is it any wonder that “judgment” has occurred for me as a thing of deepest dread … the stuff nightmares are made of??
Do you think that the family member I felt judged by intended THOSE feelings with what he said? I know for a FACT that he did not … but subconsciously that was what occurred for me when “judgment” happened.
The point of all of this is not to vent or be a martyr … the time for all of that in my life is LONG since past. I have worked it all through, forgiven and let go of most of it. No, this exercise for me was a matter of staid observance and rational detachment … sitting back in the seat of my consciousness and allowing these internal blockages to be released and flow out of me. Now that I am aware of my interpretations for the word “judgment” whenever it occurs within me I can now say,
“You are not being attacked, they are not intending what your personal experience of judgment is.”
I am now free of what before was a very powerful trigger … this, to me, is one of the primary benefits of inner work and spiritual connectivity.
If I had not gone through what I went through I would not be in the place that I am now; where I understand such a thing. The very dread voices that caused me SUCH despair are ALSO the voices that drove me to depend on God that much MORE. The intensely intimate, real and visceral relationship I have with God is a result of all of this … transforming me into the person who will contribute whatever it is that God wants me to contribute for the rest of my life.
Through this I can be grateful for everything I have experienced, or will … it all just brings me that much closer to God.
So what words do you have in your life where you might have a different translation than with somebody else intends?? The next time you’re triggered into an emotional response … think about it … see if you can learn to swim in the language you live in, rather than drown in it.
Peace and Love
~~~~~~~
Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.
We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or their judgments … God LOVES us all!
There is no requirement to change in order to be LOVED by God, or to LOVE God. God is LOVE, and LOVE is God … period. There is no one who God loves more than anyone else … there are only those who choose to LOVE more … to love God more, and consequently then to love each other more. In doing so, we grow closer to God … and know God.
By opening our hearts, and minds to God (free of boundaries like religion, or social trends); by LOVING God … we are exactly where we are meant to be. If we maintain that openness, never allowing any person or event to make us close our hearts, we will be guided by God to be who we are meant to be.
In that space of openness we can then live a life of LOVE, and be guided to where we are meant to be … forever in LOVE.
Southern California, Northern California,Mission Viejo, Irvine, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Marin, San Jose, San Juan Capistrano, Santa Ana, Palm Springs, Long Beach
– Mother Theresa
Architectural Freedom
It could be said that we as humans are inately architectural. Everywhere we go, with every single activity, we are creating structures. These structures are comprised of our thoughts, intentions, declarations, and ultimately actions. When you are a child you are far more your own architect than when you are an adult. Sure, you may have the structure that your parents provide or whatever church or school you belong to … but really you’re allowed a level of freedom that is considered a luxury as an adult.
As an adult you are told that you must be responsible … and this basically means you must take on the structures of what everyone else deems acceptable. So all those areas of free thought that you loved as a child are ceded away to the structures of Work, Church, Political Party, etc., etc. … all the way down to the structure of whatever neighborhood you live in.
You “must” do these things in the name of being “responsible”. We CRAVE the days of our youth … but what we really want is Architectural Freedom!
For a very long period of my life I knew that I did not want to fit into any of these structures, so I rebelled against all of them … subconsciously thinking that this was the path to freedom. Ultimately though I was just choosing a different structure … I was choosing the structure of No Structure; of Chaos. So, while I was different and somewhat more free, seemingly, I still was a prisoner of a structure that was not composed of my conscious intent.
Now my structure is based on Love … the only infallible foundation that I have found. Now I am building my very own structure upon that foundation … and it is beholden to no one but myself. I can choose to take on other people’s structures or other organizations’ structures … but it will be based on my own personal decision of whether or not it fits MY personal structure that I have chosen to be Love.
True freedom is becoming your own Architect … recognizing the value and power of structure and then crafting and creating what you want that structure to be; with intention.
The “kicker” in this architectural equation is that you also are responsible for EVERYTHING. Everything that is a result of your structure is yours to own and live with the consequences of … to learn from, really. If you hurt someone it is because of your actions, not because the church you go to told you to reject or judge someone. If your chosen structure is working too much and ignoring your family, you can no longer blame the people who made you work too much. If people are denied equal rights it’s partially based on your decision … you’re no longer just a small part of the greater entity and therefore not responsible for such a thing!
Every … single … decision … becomes the result of your chosen structure.
See, we LIKE having these excuses. We might say that we want freedom, but we sure as hell don’t want the responsibility that comes with it! That scares people! Most people will go their entire lives without ever creating their own structure simply so that they don’t have to be responsible.
The other frightening aspect of becoming your own Architect is that you have to look at every part of your life … and let go of or, in some cases, even break down the structures that exist. This is painful to both you and the people involved in your accumulated structures. We don’t want to hurt people, so we just go on maintaining the structures that ultimately hold us back.
It is no easy task … in fact, it is incredibly difficult at first. Once you have done it though you FEEL the unlimited amount of energy that flows through you … energy that you never even imagined existed in the Old Way. Life, God’s Love, literally flows through you like a river … it guides you to where you are supposed to be … all based on the structure you have created for it!
Some might think I’m preaching rebellion, or anarchy … when in fact I am preaching exactly the opposite. We NEED structure … we simply don’t necessarily need the structure that everyone else tells us we need.
But that is up for you to decide … at least it is if you take the transformational journey of becoming your own personal architect.
Peace and Love.
~~~~~~~
pic of Disney Hall.
~~~~~~~
Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.
We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or their judgments … God LOVES us all!
There is no requirement to change in order to be LOVED by God, or to LOVE God. God is LOVE, and LOVE is God … period. There is no one who God loves more than anyone else … there are only those who choose to LOVE more … to love God more, and consequently then to love each other more. In doing so, we grow closer to God … and know God.
By opening our hearts, and minds to God (free of boundaries like religion, or social trends); by LOVING God … we are exactly where we are meant to be. If we maintain that openness, never allowing any person or event to make us close our hearts, we will be guided by God to be who we are meant to be.
In that space of openness we can then live a life of LOVE, and be guided to where we are meant to be … forever in LOVE.
Southern California, Northern California, Mission Viejo, Irvine, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Marin, San Jose, San Juan Capistrano, Santa Ana, Palm Springs, Long Beach
Self Worth Matrix
I have been meditating on the issue of Self Worth of late (along with Duality) and, over the course of a series of guided work and meditation, I’ve come up with the idea of a personalized Self Worth Matrix. For basically ALL of my life I have judged and assessed myself based on what “the World” tells me is good or successful. The problem with this is that I have basically made decisions in my life that take me in an opposite direction. Why would I continue to judge and assess myself by “the World”‘s standards when I have flouted its infinite wisdom in the first place? Good question! 🙂
So I came up with topics, issues, and tasks that are authentic and have meaning to me:
1. Help Someone
2. Do Something Creative.
3. Decide and Act Intuitively (based on Divine guidance/Intuition).
4. Connect Spiritually (prayer, meditation, grounding, healing, open-hearted connection to God).
5. Communicate Love (to another person).
6. Do a “menial” task that furthers my dreams/calling.
I then created check boxes next to these items. I intend to do each of them at least once each day, however this is not some sort of task to add yet another checklist … this is a way to re-wire and re-program my brain. This is a way to generate validation, good will, kudos, and “back-slapping” for myself on the things that have meaning and are important to me … where I can tune out that negative Inner Voice and drown it out with affirmation. No matter WHAT that Inner Voice says to me (or what anyone else has to say as well!) I can respond with,
“Nope, today I have done every, single thing that has meaning to me … today has been a great and productive day! Awesome job!!”
It is my belief that in doing this, over time, the negative Inner Voice (based on social programming and other people’s “Shoulds” and “Shouldn’ts”) will be changed to an affirming, positive Inner Voice based on these domains that have value for me.
Give it a try … what is YOUR personalized Self Worth Matrix? Remember, it’s not about “making yourself do something” … it’s about finding a way to generate Self Worth for what is important to you. You WANT this list to be comprised of things that make you feel good.
~~~~~~~
Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.
We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or their judgments … God LOVES us all!
There is no requirement to change in order to be LOVED by God, or to LOVE God. God is LOVE, and LOVE is God … period. There is no one who God loves more than anyone else … there are only those who choose to LOVE more … to love God more, and consequently then to love each other more. In doing so, we grow closer to God … and know God.
By opening our hearts, and minds to God (free of boundaries like religion, or social trends); by LOVING God … we are exactly where we are meant to be. If we maintain that openness, never allowing any person or event to make us close our hearts, we will be guided by God to be who we are meant to be.
In that space of openness we can then live a life of LOVE, and be guided to where we are meant to be … forever in LOVE.
Southern California, Northern California, Mission Viejo, Irvine, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Marin, San Jose, San Juan Capistrano, Santa Ana, Palm Springs, Long Beach
The Great Gatsby
I do believe this is my first ever movie “review” on this blog (lol) … although I won’t be hypothesizing on alternative camera angles or FPS :-).
I went to see The Great Gatsby today and I was struck by the stark contrast between the protagonist (Gatsby) and those whom he sought to be accepted, and even loved, by. The life story of Jay Gatsby is one that truly epitomizes the “American Dream”: dirt poor farmer’s boy who leaves his home for a dream and becomes one of the richest men in the country. The catch is that he didn’t really do all of the things that he did for money, or fame … he did it solely for love, or at least the love he had convinced himself he MUST have … that he had idealized … so it ended up not really being love at all; just the fulfillment of his fantasy.
The real truth behind this film comes in a scene where all the central characters are in the same room, and Gatsby is confronted by the husband of the woman he madly loves. A woman whom he had met and fallen mutually in love with before she married the wealthy man she’d never been in love with, but married because Gatsby was at war and wanted her to wait for him to make some money. The husband exposes him for the charlatan that he truly is: someone who grew up poor but is pretending to be of “noble birth”. When the husband does this he invokes racism and classism as being almost equal … BOTH are atrocious, and I certainly have met plenty of rich people who actually think this way in both regards (although there are also a great many who do not in today’s day and age). Gatsby explodes … and Daisy sees him for who he really is (I still don’t understand why that is a bad thing, but for her it apparently is) … she wanted a “blue-blooded, authentic” rich person as opposed to someone who built up everything he had with sheer will power and charisma … go figure.
The reason that I found this to be the pivotal moment is that all of the “animal instincts” were exposed … we see the carnal nature of man, and the consequential results of Duality, right there on display. BOTH sides were “fighting the fight” … they were fighting basically OPPOSITE fights, but it is the fact that they were fighting SO hard that led to both sides being completely f’ed up as a result … Duality. Light and Dark. Good and Bad … from alternating perspectives. Which is why it is SO difficult to actually figure out which way to go, or what to do with our lives.
This is what I have found myself meditating on almost perpetually lately. Fighting. The “What if?” questions fill my mind …
“What if Gatsby had allowed himself to stop fighting long enough to see that Daisy actually chose money over true love for a reason (and then did so again).”
“What if Daisy had simply gone with her heart instead of fighting for the exterior, empty facade that exists solely because of the judgment of others. She was obviously unhappy with the results, but she went right back to it.” (So much fighting).
“What if different classes of society, different races of people, different sexual orientations, different genders could actually step back from these things that supposedly define them … and just let them all fall away … and just BE ?” (Constant, every day, every hour, every second FIGHTING.)
It’s all seeming so simple to me that it makes me wonder why it is all so difficult … but it is. You have to get down through ALL the layers of social programming and upbringing to really SEE how trained we are to fight … we do it all the time. Even when you think you are “there” … you’ve really just hit a plateau. Believe me, there are MANY more layers to go … but every layer frees you that much more. Every breakthrough frees you that much more up to happiness. Press on.
The truly courageous people are the ones who will allow their fighting to fall away … and just be the innocents that they were, and started out as, all along. That is where a truly free, open-hearted connection with your Creator flourishes.
~~~~~~~
A favorite quote from the movie that says it all: “I just LOVE large parties, they’re so much more intimate.” 😉
~~~~~~~
Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.
We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or their judgments … God LOVES us all!
There is no requirement to change in order to be LOVED by God, or to LOVE God. God is LOVE, and LOVE is God … period. There is no one who God loves more than anyone else … there are only those who choose to LOVE more … to love God more, and consequently then to love each other more. In doing so, we grow closer to God … and know God.
By opening our hearts, and minds to God (free of boundaries like religion, or social trends); by LOVING God … we are exactly where we are meant to be. If we maintain that openness, never allowing any person or event to make us close our hearts, we will be guided by God to be who we are meant to be.
In that space of openness we can then live a life of LOVE, and be guided to where we are meant to be … forever in LOVE.
Southern California, Northern California, Mission Viejo, Irvine, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Marin, San Jose,San Juan Capistrano, Santa Ana, Palm Springs, Long Beach
Duality Perpetuating Machine
I recently have been doing some guided inner work and want to share a recent epiphany I have had with all of you.
As I was going through an area of my life that I have named Reclamation, I noticed several areas that had to do with Self Esteem (or lack thereof). As I went down that Self Esteem rabbit hole a bit further I ended up on the issue of Duality. An infant has no struggle with Duality (OR Self Esteem issues). Duality is something we learn through instruction and life experiences (good and bad), … we then internalize it to the point where we become our own personal Duality perpetuating machine.
So, I came to realize that Reclamation is really about recapturing the state of wholeness … as opposed to my current Dual state of fighting and constantly separating parts of myself out to allocate and place judgement upon … that is all what I have been taught or “taught” myself.
We want to fight all of these fears inside of us … along with what we deem wrong, not worthy, or even downright nasty. It’s the fighting though that creates the split … we fracture ourselves into so many pieces. It’s not that Duality ever goes away … rather, it’s accepting Duality AS wholeness that brings true internal freedom. So my focus and intent is not about overcoming duality, it is about reclaiming the areas of my life that I’ve lost to the fighting of it (whether through other peoples’ “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts”, or my own mental programming) … as well as working consciously to stop the internal fighting against Duality that has become SO much a part of my nature.
This, I believe, is work that is life changing …
Peace and Love
~~~~~~~
Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.
We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or their judgments … God LOVES us all!
There is no requirement to change in order to be LOVED by God, or to LOVE God. God is LOVE, and LOVE is God … period. There is no one who God loves more than anyone else … there are only those who choose to LOVE more … to love God more, and consequently then to love each other more. In doing so, we grow closer to God … and know God.
By opening our hearts, and minds to God (free of boundaries like religion, or social trends); by LOVING God … we are exactly where we are meant to be. If we maintain that openness, never allowing any person or event to make us close our hearts, we will be guided by God to be who we are meant to be.
In that space of openness we can then live a life of LOVE, and be guided to where we are meant to be … forever in LOVE.
Southern California, Northern California, Mission Viejo, Irvine, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Marin, San Jose,San Juan Capistrano, Santa Ana, Palm Springs, Long Beach
The Approval Exercise
There is a huge difference between caring about other people and caring about what they think of you.
Recently I had an experience which brought to my mind just how much I STILL am bothered by the judgment of other people (toward me). When it happened I went through what now has become a ritual for me: ground myself, keep my heart open … don’t allow the negative energy to make me close, or shut myself down.
There are sometimes in your life though when you’re triggered SO deeply that doing these practices, or any other type of practices, seems impossible.
So my mind went to work I trying to solve this puzzle. An answer popped into my head but it was not one that I particularly cared for … stop caring what other people think.
I didn’t like this though. What about my significant other, or family members, or friends? Do I really want to become such a jaded person that I don’t care what any of them think?? No … that isn’t the right answer.
Suddenly it hit me; like a lightning bolt, or lightbulb flicking on in the darkness of night.
The words rang through my head and then were gone, leaving the significant reverberations of their echo:
“You can care deeply for someone without caring what they think about you.”
Sounds simple, eh? Perhaps. How often do we actually DO something that simple however? Do you really deeply care for someone looks down on you? You can clearly see the sneer, or derisive disgust in their eyes … and you naturally respond with open-hearted compassion? You’re a pretty spectacular person if that’s true ;-). If not, here’s a helpful exercise:
I began practicing this yesterday, and it has already had a profound effect on my life! Whenever I have interacted with someone, anyone, I phrased the words in my mind,
“I care deeply for you, and I don’t care at all what you think of me.”
It felt liberating, I tried on different ways of saying it,
“I have compassion for you … and I don’t give a damn what you think about me!”
… and other formations of phrases that I won’t write here (lol). The effect was drastic and startling! Suddenly, not only was my heart open all the time … I became kinder in action, made more eye contact, and smiled with genuine, authentic compassion. I gave freely from the abundance that was within my heart … I wasn’t holding Love back; reserving it only for those who approve of me.
My caring became unconditional … because approval is a condition we place on others ALL too often.
I encourage you to try this exercise out, even if just for a day. Moving forward it certainly seems like one of those epiphanies that alters my life in a unique way.
Peace and Love.
~~~~~~~
Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.
We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or their judgments … God LOVES us all!
There is no requirement to change in order to be LOVED by God, or to LOVE God. God is LOVE, and LOVE is God … period. There is no one who God loves more than anyone else … there are only those who choose to LOVE more … to love God more, and consequently then to love each other more. In doing so, we grow closer to God … and know God.
By opening our hearts, and minds to God (free of boundaries like religion, or social trends); by LOVING God … we are exactly where we are meant to be. If we maintain that openness, never allowing any person or event to make us close our hearts, we will be guided by God to be who we are meant to be.
In that space of openness we can then live a life of LOVE, and be guided to where we are meant to be … forever in LOVE.
Southern California, Northern California,Mission Viejo, Irvine, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Marin, San Jose, San Juan Capistrano, Santa Ana, Palm Springs, Long Beach
Hurricane You
I once had a professor who would jokingly refer to me as a literal hurricane … because we were close I took it as a token of affection. I was studying to be a classically trained singer, so what better description could one ask for than to be compared to a force of nature?? lol
While I do have a fairly sizable personality, we ALL affect the world around us in the same way … even the quietest and shyest person in the room. If you don’t believe me, try doing an experiment where you act in a manner that is unusual for you. For me that would be to sit in a corner, without saying a word. For someone else, perhaps that would look like they were being wildly charismatic. What do you think the result would be? I’ve tried this experiment out, so I know for myself.
When I was in college I once made the attempt to not say one word for an entire evening. You’d think that I would have had an educational evening of solitude where I could actually learn things about others (what a concept). No … suddenly people were buzzing around me, trying to figure out what was wrong! They kept asking me if something was bothering me and I would simply shake my head … it all went on for quite a while before I finally broke down and said I simply was taking a break from speaking for the evening. Even that explanation wasn’t good enough … I became the topic of conversation simply by doing nothing!
The point is, we each are our own personal force of nature. Whether you want to own that or not, it is most definitely true. You can decide that you aren’t going to believe it and continue to stumble about the world like a bull in a china shop; causing unintended ripple effects in reaction to you wherever you go. OR you could start to pay attention, become a watcher, and see how things unfold around you … and what role you have played in them unfolding in the manner they have.
What we really are supposed to be UP TO in life is being conscious, awake, and aware of this reality. When you truly see it you then start to try and figure out how to minimize the negative effects and maximize the positive aspects you bring into the world. That is just the beginning … because what you ultimately will find is that there is a TON of work to do at figuring and sorting yourself out … who you really ARE. You will go on a wonderfully frightening adventure within yourself; meeting both the demons and saints of your psyche. It is your own personal mythology and, if you stick with it, you will ultimately discover that Love is really the only thing of importance in this world … Love is what will set you free.
Eventually (we can all hope) you will get to the point where you decide you don’t want anything but Love to be the ripples of your influence. That is certainly what I hope for myself ;-).
~~~~~~~
– this post was the result of meditating on my prior post, “Freedom“.
~~~~~~~
Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.
We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or their judgments … God LOVES us all!
There is no requirement to change in order to be LOVED by God, or to LOVE God. God is LOVE, and LOVE is God … period. There is no one who God loves more than anyone else … there are only those who choose to LOVE more … to love God more, and consequently then to love each other more. In doing so, we grow closer to God … and know God.
By opening our hearts, and minds to God (free of boundaries like religion, or social trends); by LOVING God … we are exactly where we are meant to be. If we maintain that openness, never allowing any person or event to make us close our hearts, we will be guided by God to be who we are meant to be.
In that space of openness we can then live a life of LOVE, and be guided to where we are meant to be … forever in LOVE.
Southern California, Northern California, Mission Viejo, Irvine, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Marin, San Jose, San Juan Capistrano, Santa Ana, Palm Springs, Long Beach
Beware Your Intentions
Inevitably your intentions are what end up owning you. What is a famous saying?
“Oh, but I had the BEST of intentions!”
Really? Truthfully? More frequently than not our intentions have everything to do with with something that will wind up being beneficial for US. We fight for them. We lie for them. We deceive for them. We even cause pain for them. It doesn’t start out that way, for sure … but if we don’t guard what the roots of our intentions are, we wind up on a difficult road to climb.
There is no substance known to man that is more slippery than intentions.
So how do we get at the roots of our intentions? Well, it really is pretty simple in concept … it’s the execution that kills us. We have to let go of the outcomes … we have to simply step back and TRUST that whatever takes place is what we are meant to experience and learn from. We don’t like that though … being polished isn’t pleasant, and being honed is even worse. That is what these experiences in our lives are for though … they are what we need to learn the lessons that we are supposed to learn.
When we go about trying to force reality into a box of our own making THAT is when we start bringing things into our lives that are harmful. Then we wonder how God could be SO cruel to allow something like that to happen to us … when most of these circumstances are simply the realities we have created for ourselves.
If you have a relationship and you are dreadfully frightened that they will leave you or be unfaithful … what do you do? You scheme, and snoop, and badger, and harangue the other person SO much to try and make sure they aren’t … that you actually drive them to the place you feared most. You created that reality … your intention wasn’t based in Love.
If you get a brand new car and it is so beautiful that you adoringly fawn over it … but then somehow it loses its luster over time. Well, you clearly have to go get something new that you can fawn over again, because it felt SO good. More and more, you just keep piling it on … and each thing you guard ferociously, because at one time they meant SO much to you. Eventually through all that hoarding and possessing you wind up stepping on people’s toes, or worse … you actually behave dishonestly. Something happens and you end up losing some or all of the things you cared so deeply for. You created that reality … your intention wasn’t based in Love.
The list can be described for virtually anything … any possibly thing that you can attach an intention to. Does that mean you should do nothing … not attach any intentions to anything?? No … it merely means that you want to be as vigilant as possible as to your true intentions actually are. Check your intentions, scrutinize your intentions … make sure that the intention you affix to something has Love at its core.
True Love … Unconditional Love … does not step on toes, bully, push people out of its way, snoop or spy on, or any other number of results that come from unhealthy intentions. True Love lets go … it allows your heart to always be open … it allows your intuition to hear where you are being Divinely Led.
So get at your roots … and don’t be afraid to dig.
~~~~~~~
– pic from the soul is bone.
~~~~~~~
Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.
We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or their judgments … God LOVES us all!
There is no requirement to change in order to be LOVED by God, or to LOVE God. God is LOVE, and LOVE is God … period. There is no one who God loves more than anyone else … there are only those who choose to LOVE more … to love God more, and consequently then to love each other more. In doing so, we grow closer to God … and know God.
By opening our hearts, and minds to God (free of boundaries like religion, or social trends); by LOVING God … we are exactly where we are meant to be. If we maintain that openness, never allowing any person or event to make us close our hearts, we will be guided by God to be who we are meant to be.
In that space of openness we can then live a life of LOVE, and be guided to where we are meant to be … forever in LOVE.
Southern California, Northern California, Mission Viejo, Irvine, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Marin, San Jose, San Juan Capistrano, Santa Ana, Palm Springs, Long Beach
Religion4All 